another story .” - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"
Recently and they don’t even make any sense, sometimes they’re hardly even close to what I want to say. But all these thoughts are stuck in my mind and somehow I can’t seem to extract them. I know this feeling, I know that feeling, but words fail me. I hate not being able to find a word for a feeling. Right now I’m just feeling lost and lazy and really really tired, like my heart’s missing something. And sometimes, most of the times, I just feel so full of regret. Time often passes too fast, so many mistakes flies by, I want to correct all of them, I need to. But they’re all gone and forever my life will stay this way. Sometimes I think I’m just wasting my life away. What do I do? I study, I live, I feel, I think. But I don’t feel like I’m doing what I truly love. And I don’t even know what I truly love. I hate this feeling of wasting away but I can’t help it. I don’t want to be lost. I don’t want to be missing anything. I want to truly live.
So, lovely weather we are having today!
No, actually. The weather’s been fuged lately- though not quite as fuged as melbourne’s springtime, first its sunny, then it’s raining, and then it’s fuging hot, and then its fuging cold. Meh. Bullshit.
I’m feeling nostalgic. Of all the things I would have done all over again and of the things I would want to go through again! Absolutely countless.
But if it didn’t happen that way, I wouldn’t be who I am now. No matter how much I miss everything, how I would change things, life and everything in between will always change.
Always.
I know I don’t talk much, but sometimes, I’d just like to show you what’s on my mind . :)
